Dad Test #34: Diapers


When I was 8, I could tell you the difference between authentic G.I. Joe actions figures by Matel and the generic ones from Fay’s Drug just by the weight of the cardboard backing of the package.

When I was 12, I could tell you the difference between my Honda four-wheeler and my best friend’s Honda four-wheeler–both the exact same model and year–just by the whine of the engine.

When I was 16, I could tell the difference between Zildjian and a Pro-Mark drum sticks simply by the smell.

And when I was 20, I could tell you if your guitar was too dry or too damp simply by  listening to you tune your low E string.

Today, at 30, I can tell the difference between Huggies and Pampers based on how they wrap the buttocks, the quality of attach-tabs, and their overal fluid capacity before exploding.

(Huggies wins, by the way). ch: