The Family Lotto

I am the luckiest man in the world. Luckiest, if you have a weak grip on reality and trust fate. Blessed, if you understand that God honors choices made in pursuit of Him, regardless of shortcomings.

But before writing on the subject of family – a fitting theme – I want to wish my father, Peter Kirk, a very happy 64th birthday. He taught me virtue, faithfulness, stewardship, and what it means to be masculine in creativity. But more, he showed me through years, not just words, what it meant to love Jesus and family selflessly.

Happy birthday, Daddy. ch:
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WARNING: If you don’t believe in God, or even Providence, then this piece will irritate you.

Even deists will be irritated. If God is distant and uninterested in human affairs, do yourself a favor and stop reading.

Bye bye.

Everyone else – believers in God and divine appointments – how does your family rate in importance?

Now, family can be a touchy subject, so rating them can be difficult.

We all have “the crazies.” You know who I mean. Aunt Mary who smells of mothballs and cheese; Grandpa Sal who swears loudly at punk kids with long hair; and Uncle Frank who flirts with the bride at every wedding he attends.

But even the crazies are important to God. Important enough for Him to trust you with their bloodline, and their legacy – great or small.

So how would you rate your family’s importance in your day-to-day life?

Low? Medium? High?

No matter what your classification, let me help take it to the next level.

If God is truly intentional and deliberate, then of all the 7 billion people on the planet – or roughly 3 billion families – the one you were assigned to is pretty exclusive. Statistically speaking.

So important that 7 billion other people didn’t get your family.

But think even broader. You won the lottery with the most enormous odds of all, because you were born in this era, not in the hundreds previous. Which means your family was handpicked for you by God over thousands of years, not just from billions people.

It would seem He knows what he’s doing, and thinks you’re pretty special to handle the circumstances you were born into. Good. Bad. Or ugly.

When your parents bewilder you, your siblings frustrate you, your kids dumbfound you, and your in-laws freak you right out, remember: you won the family one-in-a-billion lotto.

Literally.

Digesting that statistic may just be the key to letting your parents awe you, your siblings encourage you, your kids bless you, and your in-laws support you.

But there’s almost no hope for smelling like mothballs and cheese. ch:

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[Photo by Joanne Nesbitt]

Blankets

Judah – my 2.5 year old – collects blankets.

At any given time, he’ll be toting up to 9 of his “blues,” “minis,” or “silkies” around the house. Lounging on them with a chocolate milk bottle, or arranging them for an afternoon nap.

We all think it’s endearing. And quite humorous to see his love affair that is uniquely his own, untaught by any of us.

Yes, not all of our habits are as charming as a 2.5 year old’s fetish with blankets. But we probably have at least one that’s genuinely “us.” That makes us unique.

If it’s annoying to everyone around, maybe think about changing for the better. While no one may say it, that lip biting thing you do is kinda’ awkward for everyone watching. So is the way you overreact to correction, or shake your foot incessantly at the table.

I’m not talking about areas where we need to mature socially or personally.

But that characteristically uncommon thing that’s “so you”?

Yeah.

Don’t change that. It’s part of what makes you “you.” And to the right people, you wouldn’t be right without it.

I still cross my feet when I sit on my knees. My parents thought it was cute when I was a boy – my wife thinks it’s cute today. And my kids all do it, too.

Genetic or not, its often our funkiest habits that become our trademarks. Learn to love ‘em, not despise ‘em. Doing so will only help you love who God invented you to be, and shed some of that ugly self-criticism.

And appreciate the mannerisms, traits, and oddities of those around you. Not only will you smile at the obvious God-fingerprints on them, but your life will be richer for it. ch:

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Monkey On My Sink

When everyone else around the watering-hole crowds you out, do you complain? Or get creative? ch:

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Marshmallow Fun

Last night we decided to stay home despite some very fun offerings from close friends. Jenny is only 3 weeks away from her due date, and trying to conserve energy.

So she chilled on the sail-hammock while Eva, Luik, and Judah devoured nearly an entire bag of marshmallows over a campfire in the back yard.

I may have had a s’more or two myself.

Love building memories. ch:

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The Art of Measuring

Except for the rapid adolescent years, which involve a lot of acne, vocal squeals, and disproportionate appendages, growth is most often a slow, quiet process that is only noticed after a examining a start and end point separated by a long period of time.

Even harder than noticing physical growth is mental or spiritual growth. And I’ve found that measuring it can be a challenge.

Still, just as important as it was to measure your height against the family door frame with a ruler and pencil when you were 7, it’s important to be able to measure and track your growth spiritually, relationally, and mentally.

Here are a few of the reoccurring self-measuring standards I use when taking stock of my own growth:

•What is my power-to-knowledge ratio of God?

Exodus 33:11 tells of Moses’ relationship with God in the days of the Tent of Meeting like this: “The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend.”

Even if my wife had an autobiography and I read it everyday – though beneficial – it would not even come within the same paradigm as actually knowing her for 10 seconds in person. Likewise, while the Bible and countless books speak to the awesomeness of God, is my relationship with him “logos” knowledge only?

When was the last time I sensed his presence strongly within me? The breath of God breathing a “rhema” word on me? How long has it been since I’ve had a face-to-face? When did I last allow his heart for people to break me, his joy in creating life to excite me, his passion for the Kingdom to consume me? I’ve had encounters in past years where I was physically immobile from his overwhelming presence; is that now just a part of my history with him, or am I helping cultivate my availability to him today? It’s not about what I get, it’s what he gets out of the deal.

If I push myself in physical exercise, do I push myself when I’m in Sunday morning worship to be more than just an exercise?

•Who is actually benefitting from the knowledge and power I’ve amassed in God?

If a dying man’s last words carry any weight, the combination of Jesus’ parting commands in Matthew 28 and Mark 16 need to ring in me daily. And do they?

How many people can I name individually who are receiving the Christ-in-me on a consistent, regular basis?

Likewise, is the power and presence of God being coupled with genuine boldness and compassion in such a way that people are healed, convicted, and moved when they’re around me in Wal-Mart?

•How am I at loving my wife? (For those not married, I would refer you to Eph. 6:2).

If I’m commanded as a husband to love my wife like Jesus loves the Church (Eph. 5:25), and that his model of loving was serving her in the epitome of selflessness (Matt. 20:28), how selfless am I being with regard to my wife’s wellbeing? Am I helping her through life, modeling Christ-likeness in my treatment of her? Do I actively help her pursue her dreams, ease her burdens, and secure her future?

It’s interesting, because much of this I learned in first serving my parents.

Similarly, am I a walking, living, breathing model of Jesus for my kids? (Prov. 22:6). Far more important than evening Bible stories or if they learned the new Sunday school song, is how am I treating them? Am I responding or reacting to their needs, errors, and achievements? Is my discipline appropriate for the moment? Is my praise and encouragement hard to acquire or easily entreated?

•How do I respond to bad news?

Psalm 112:7 says, “[A righteous man] is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.”

Do I fuel drama with more drama? Or does my unfazed response to crisis bring the stabilizing anecdote of God’s peace?

Similarly, how do I handle reactionary people? Do I exude patience? Or am I quick to judge and speak more than I am quick to listen? (James 1:19)

•Are physical environments getting better or worse after I spend prolonged amounts of time in them?

I learned long ago that how I treat things, how I treat people, and how I treat God all share the same 2 roots: my heart and my habits. Sometimes I can see my unspoken treatment of people in how I treat my car, my office, or my lawn.

•Am I an asset or liability to my local church?

Long before I had a “paid position” as a pastor, I was and still am a member of my local church. So the question begs to be asked, am I someone I’d have to pastor if I wasn’t a pastor?

Do I show up to help? Do I tithe? Do I complain about what’s wrong or do fill the need of what’s missing?

One of the greatest life lessons my parents could have ever taught me was learning the gift of serving over receiving (Acts 20:35). We never went to church to “get” anything growing up: we went to give. As a result, there was never a bad Sunday, a bad message, a bad worship set, or a bad carpet color.

Because we were there to serve people.

This list is far from exhaustive; so what are some of your personal measuring marks? ch:

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Perspective on Freighters

Big is relative to your perspective. Thus the importance of exercising our access to the mind of Christ in the midst of our turmoil. ch:

(1Cor2:16)

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The Truth About Superheroes

Even Ironman gets bubblegum stuck on his face.

Even Jesus had to use the outhouse.

We praise superheroes because of their feats, but we follow them because they share our frailties. ch:

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Goggle Adjustment

Sometimes life can look funny. Even cruel. And so can God.

We as humans have a long and sorted past in placing more weight on what we see than what we know to be true.

The problem isn’t with God. Nor is it with life.

It’s with our perspective.

Try adjusting your goggles. (It’ll help you notice the friends around you, too). ch:

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Case Carrying

When I got home yesterday, Judah wanted to help me carry in my road gear from the car.

No, I don’t use a briefcase for papers; I use an iPad for that stuff. Silly. Pictured is my pedal board briefcase. And about the only thing little Judah could carry.

But he only made it to the bottom of the steps. Almost bit it several times just to make it that far. That sucker is quite heavy for a little guy.

Often times we want to carry big loads. For God. For people. For ourselves. But only the Father knows how much we can handle during particular seasons.

A key to avoiding discouragement: Look to be strengthened by what you’re currently carrying so that you’ll be mature enough to handle the bigger cases later on.

What loads seem like discouragements to you right now? Can you see them as things that are actually preparing you for future responsibilities? ch:

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Be Loud

It’s important to be proper. To be culturally sensitive and honoring of those around you.

But sometimes you need to be loud. To smash cake in your face and run around the yard half-clothed.

Just because you can.

Because life is worth enjoying as much as it is respecting. ch:

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THK Episode 3

In Episode 3, the audience gets a look at The Hopper Kids at the kitchen table. From Judah’s priceless cereal destruction and hilarious “foo-foo,” to Eva and Luik leading the Dutch Blitz charge, only a trip outside into the snow gives daddy enough time to keep up with their messes. ch:

Escalator and the Carousel

How do you cope with new experiences? With change?

Are you the Exploring Pioneer who lives for the new horizon, longing to see what’s just over the next ridge? Maybe you’re the Establisher who would rather leave the initial foliage hacking to someone else while you figure our how to set up the new water system? Or how about the Maintainer who finds their moxie while making sure every existing operation remains status quo?

Regardless of your predisposition, change tends to creep up on our doorstep more frequently than we’d  like, and less often enough than we’d hope.

At first, new experiences can seem overwhelming. And they’re thrust upon us without warning. Judah, for example, on an escalator for the first time in Carousel Mall. He was walking along, holding Daddy’s confident hand, when the floor dropped out from underneath him. Worse, he was going down, not even making an effort to do so.

I could sense his panic. He stiffened. Hands outstretched.

Minutes later we mounted the large, antique carousel in the food court. The same uncertainty washed over him as he clung to the mast, regardless of the cheery music or flashing lights.

But in both the case of the escalator and the carousel, Judah began to find areas of enjoyment as the experience went on. The strange feeling in his stomach became exciting. The movement was exhilarating. And despite his uncertainty, his Dad was right beside him.

Soon, Judah was having fun. And by the time each ride was over, he wanted to do them again. And again. And again.

KEYS TO KEEPING PERSPECTIVE:

1.) Your Dad Has Already Walked This Road :: There is a reason that Jesus had to be “tempted and tested just as we are.” Not just so that he could relate to us (as is often preached, and rightly so), but so that we could have full confidence in him when he says, “It will be OK.” He knows. As Judah’s Dad, I would never willfully lead him into a situation that would bring him harm, or that I have not already walked myself; how much more so would a perfect Father behave? I’ve used escalators for decades, as well as carousels. Just my physical presence beside him gave Judah confidence regardless of the immediate reservations. Without even rationalizing it, Judah was trusting his Daddy.

2.) Look For The Joy :: Some might argue that not all experiences in life are enjoyable. True, but all experiences are able to produce joy. This is a principle of the Kingdom, one I’m very grateful for. The experience referred to as The Cross was anything but enjoyable for Jesus; yet he endured it “for the joy set before him.” That, and he knew that his Father was able to make good come out of even the most dire circumstances. It would be obscene to consider that any single experience of our own trumps the Cross, so if that’s Jesus’ example, it must be our standard. Fear of falling and lack of control were just two of the issues racing through little Judah’s head. But to his credit he was able to overcome them and soon realized there was joy to be had.

Unlike Judah’s desire to re-do the escalator and the carousel, not all of life’s experiences are things we want to repeat. But the joy we can engage in because of them should be. Left to God, life–even when dealt its most difficult ordeals–can produce divine avenues of joy that leave us saying one thing of the Lord: more. Because Judah will remember the preeminence of his father in his life, not that of some cheap rides. ch:

What’s a recent experience you’ve walked through?

6Surely he will never be shaken;

a righteous man will be remembered forever.

7He will have no fear of bad news;

his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

8His heart is secure, he will have no fear;

in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.

Psalm 112